Foreword

There's not much that beats a medical professional telling you that you're obese.

Being told twice in the same year does come close, though.

Don't get me wrong, I can Google "how to calculate BMI" and do basic maths.  Even without these gifts, I can still look in a mirror and see that things aren't right.  From the stretch marks on my sides, to the jelly-like wobble every time I move without tight clothing on.

Not that I own much tight clothing.

So why do I want to lose weight?  I recently found this question, written neatly in my finest handwriting, with my nicest ink pen, on my nicest letter paper, along with an attempt to try and answer it.  That was dated 29th March '18.  Almost eighteen months later, and not only have I not come any closer to answering that question, but I also haven't lost any weight.

Back then, I was hell-bent on joining the Navy.  At least, that's what I told myself (and anybody else who would listen).  at that point, twenty-five months had gone by since I had submitted my Navy application, hoping it would inspire me to lose the final ten kilograms required to sit the medical exam.

It didn't.

Thirty-seven months later, and I'm three kilograms heavier than I was then, and ten kilograms heavier than I was at my lightest.  So joining the Navy - which at that time would have revolutionised my life for the better - wasn't enough to motivate me to lose weight.  I still couldn't answer "why" I wanted to lose weight.

I'm hoping that this time, I can.  

(Let me be clear though - this isn't for anybody else - this is for me.  If it helps somebody, or inspires you, then I'm glad to help, and will answer any questions fully, honestly and frankly.  But if you read this expecting enlightenment, humour, or emotional stimulation - I strongly advise that you try somewhere else.)

Finding my previous attempt at answering "why" is only a small part of what has inspired me to begin writing.  I recently put my money where my mouth was, and joined a gym.  A good gym.  A nice gym.  With help, and PT's, and a pool...  I even got my partner to agree to go to the gym with me when we were visiting each other, if that's what it took to stay committed to my routine.

I also finished reading Simon Sinek's "Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire" and it occurred to me that I have never found my "why", and so how could I hope to inspire myself.

And finally, one of my oldest friends posted a photo on social media of her and her child, on their first foreign holiday abroad, on the beach.  My friend posted the picture of her and child, in a swim suit, on the beach - both smiling and clearly having the time of their lives - with the caption "do you know how to get beach body ready?  Don't give a f@!k".

And so maybe that's where I should be starting.

Do I actually give a f@!k?